Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Still dying that you shit outside
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
