..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
