felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
