on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
