im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
where am i from again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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