he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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