Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
