You made me cry and you don't even care
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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