All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize