I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
