She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
