your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
