I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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