Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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