508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
