Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
