omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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