So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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