Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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