HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
