I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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