evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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