He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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