the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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