dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so let's talk penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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