Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
