Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
