we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize