I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
