You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
