I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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