So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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