you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
