i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
