My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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