The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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