We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
