people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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