U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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