I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
