Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
