i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
