It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
