why didn't you poke me back
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
MIDGETS
????
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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