Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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