Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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