He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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