that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
