Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize