What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
