she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
