My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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