If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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