Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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