am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
