We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize