oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
