so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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