You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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