Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
His nipple licking is glorious
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