i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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