OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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