just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
