I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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