What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
foreskin is a definite game changer
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
