i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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