I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
