Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
