We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
