her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
