Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
