hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
