his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize