And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
