Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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